Thursday, April 14, 2011

Either you understand it or you dont . But well , nobody's gonna see this .


Once upon a time, there was this dove named J.
This dove's life and relationship was going on well, she's always happy without feeling vexed or etc. One day she hurt another dove once and once again for a long time, till the dove's injuries eventually recovered.

And then, that's when the karma's starts attacking the dove.
Many rl problems came up.
Being the third party of a rl which she doesn't want to.
Being fucking stupid for a long period of time.
Untill one day she finally wake up, and get out of these shit she dropped into.

And finally!
She was back to those non-vexed feeling days for a period of time.
She enjoyed playing with her other dove friends, and even became good friends with the couple which she became the third party before.

Untill one day.
She met this special dove, which attracts J alot.
On that night, that special dove cried due to some reasons while she's talking to J's best friend and she felt tired and fell asleep on J's thigh.
J knew that this dove wont have any feelings for her. J's good friends even told J that it wont have an good ending liking that special dove.
But then J's stubbornness ignored her friend's warning. And took a step closer to know more about that 'Special dove'.

After months,
Many things happened. J's good friends was right.
J was being stupid and by the time she knew she was wrong, it's too late to turn back.
J fell deeper into that dark hole,
J dug the hole herself, and jump inside, Struggling everyday to get up, but it's not as easy as how she ever ever thought.

J always felt happy for a moment, hell for a moment. Up and down continuously.
Untill one day, J eventually broke contact w that Special dove,
after being always by her side for a long time.

She woke up everyday with teary eyes, feeling like hell.
No words could explain how J felt for that moment.
Till one day, J broke down.
All of her good friends surrounding her, giving her support, trying to get her up from the hole.

After a period of time,
J stand up again as herself. But, she decided to be by special's dove side as she promised to.
but she rather she's the one suffering, at least she can still be friends with special dove.
But J's always suffering when she sees something that affects her, but she cant show it out.
J doesn't want things to go worse or back to last time.
She's really so affected after she saw some things today.
she only can blame herself, she saw the title, she knew she'll feel so affected after she read everything, yet she still continues.
So untill now, J is always still beside special dove, getting her up whenever she needs help or so.
J knows that she's always a very good friend. Not a little bit more then that.


J wonders how the ending would be, and when would it be.
Either the positive one, or the negative one.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Ranting.



There's so many things i wanna say . Yet nothing comes out in the end .
There's so many things i wanna do . Yet i got no guts to do anything .
I can't keep on like this sia . Walan . Idk what to do .
wtf . pekcek . there's no way we could communicate properly .
i tried so many ways to stop . it wont work .
I had too much hopes .
Everynight . turning left and right . Thinking what should i do .
I also wanna ask why so many people but you ?
But too bad . My heart wont answer me .
Epic me .

There's so many why in every action .
But i guess is i think too much .
You never liked me .
It's me , one sided .

I'm so angry at myself .

I know it takes time to stop .
But i can't wait and i don't want to .
Can someone tell me what to do ?

Thursday, February 17, 2011

After 53241235432525432 days i finally gehyian to update my blog ^^ !!!!!

Idk what to post . -_-
Fuck my life's my favorite word now .
Not schooling alr . Enough of studying !
Have to find work and work alr !

Will be going to malaysia for five days on the 22nd untill 26th .
Don't feel like going but no choice . -.-
What is it has to do w me if they wanna marry . I also not their mother tio bo . LOL

New year was quite fun .
Only those part at grandma house was bored .
After that at safra v fun . wahaha .

Nothing much to post . bye .


i hope my papa will recover.



Sometimes i wanna hold on , sometimes i felt like giving up .
Sometimes i felt so happy , sometimes i felt so sad , sometimes i felt so angry , sometimes i felt so jealous .
Something's so damn wrong w me . -'-